Why is it that when a woman who happens to be a mother is asked to describe herself usually says "I'm a mom first...." And if they don't, it raises eyebrows.
I'm not going to get into a sexist rant about how men don't say "I'm a father first" and about how they are not judged for doing so - that's not the point of this post, nor do I feel that's the issue.
Why is it that every time I read an article or see an interview with a strong, successful woman who happens to be a mother, they almost always say "I'm a mom first".
Really?
Did what defined us before children change with the arrival of them? Does everything and everyone automatically take a back seat? What exactly are we telling our girls then?
I remember once hearing this woman speak about how one of the worst lessons her mom ever taught her was that as a mother you sacrifice for everyone else. It caught me off guard because my initial thought was "well isn't that what mothers do?" I remember her saying that when preparing dinner, her mother would take the burnt or dropped or smallest piece of chicken in order to ensure her family had the best. While putting herself last.
So what exactly are we teaching our girls? Strive for the best! Be all that you can be! Don't let anyone put you down! Insist on equality! Oh and when you have a family, shelve that - you come last.
So maybe the parallel between chicken and family succession is weak at best but don't our children learn by example?
I'd like to believe that what defines me changes. That as my passions and drive changes, so does what defines me. I hope that one day when someone asks my daughter what kind of mom I am that she answers "I'll tell you what kind of woman she is".
